118 of 365 : Vladimir Putin

So this guy was a president of Russia.
Before being a president, he was an intelligence officer in the KGB stationed mainly in Germany.
Then he retired as a colonel, and returned to Leningrad.
He was a supporter for Anatoly Sobchak, so after Sobchak won election, Putin became his head of external relations, and then his first deputy mayor.
After Sobchak defeated, Putin resigned and returned to Moscow. He was appointed as head of management under Boris Yeltsin's presidential administration. There, he was in-charge of Kremlin's relations with regional governments.
Then, Putin was appointed as head of Federal Security, as well as head of Yeltsin's Security Council. Then, Yeltsin appointed Putin to be then-prime minister replacing Sergey Stapashin.

In September 2001, he announced Russia's stance as a US ally. Soon, he announced his opposition  - along with French and Germany governments - to the US "war on terror", which focused on ridding Iraq.

In December 2012, Putin signed into a law banning on the US adoption of Russian child.

Putin strained the relationship with US by granting an asylum to Edward Snowden who was a wanted person by US because of leaking classified information about the National Security Agency case.

Putin established an anti-gay laws. He made it illegal for gay couple to adopt kids and placed a ban on propagandizing "nontraditional" sexual relationship to minors.

In September 2013, due to cooperation of Russia and China, amongst other nations, US would refrain from attacking Syria and come up with an agreement to get Syria to release its chemical weapon. In hi op-ed in New York Times, he stated that  by US striking Syria, despite the disapproval of several other nations, could result in violence and unrest in the Middle East  potentially escalating.

118 of 365: When you happy and you know, and you really want to show.

There are two types of people in this world.

1. Bila ada benda happy berlaku, mereka hanya enjoy the moment. They tell the world, they are happy. They don't think any other consequences, walau memang lumrah dunia yang hidup tak selalunya indah, langit tak selalu cerah, who cares, just embrace the moment.

2. Bila ada benda happy berlaku, they scared, worried, it does not last long. Maybe that is a calm before the storm. Maybe if they are too happy, they are gonna oversee other things. Maybe if they celebrate the happiness, when its finished, its gonna crush their heart. They just scared to be in that happy moment. And they are aalways wondering when it's going to end. They are always preparing for the worst, but forget to enjoy every little moment.

Choose.

117 of 365 : Courage and honor

Courage is a hard thing to figure.
You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake.
That's why courage is tricky.
Should you always do what others tell you to do?
Sometimes you might not even know why you're doing something.
I mean, any fool can have courage.
But honor, that's the real reason you either do something or you don't.
It's who you are or maybe who you want to be.
If you die trying for something important, and you have both honor and courage, that's pretty good.
You should hope for courage and try for honor.

-The Blind Side, Michael Oher-

110 of 365 : Pronounciation

Do you know the right way of pronouncing Aglio Olio? Its A-lio O-lio.

That horrifying moment when somebody says a word, and then you realize, you've been mispronouncing it all these times. Damm damm dammmm.


Pistachio?
Pis-ta-kee-oh

Bed?
Bed (almost like 'bid' but with e. I was pronouncing it like 'bad', haha yeah, baby I know)

Porsche?
Por-sya

Peugeot?
Per-jzho

Dolce & Gabbana?
Dol-chay & Gabbana

Estee Lauder?
Es-tay Lauder

Chipotle? - as in Chipotle Southwest sauce.
Chi-pot-lay

Poet?
Po-et

Stomach?
Stuh-muck (I pronounce Stuh-Meck, but I think this one is alright. ahaha)

Water?
Wa-drrrr but I'll keep Australian slang in memory : woh-dah

109 of 365 : Embarrassing moment of the year.

Before this, I've never known that we could see what other people (following) commented on someone's picture in Instagram. My tab was never on "following" but on "you". HEY! This is a serious breach of privacy :'((((((

Arrrrr, dan disebabkan inilah, I've just ridiculed myself, and it is so embarrassing. I could never face that person anymore. Yeah, I've been sabotaging myself. So guys, never ever commenting on 9gag's picture dgn harapan takde orang bace and in the heat of moment, maybe you've just want to act stupidly or something, but just dont. People can read it. And lagi malang, bila orang yg kita tgh cakap dkt dalam comment tu yang baca sendiri. Lol sometimes nak tergelak pun ada. Nak menangis lagiiiii ade. :'( hu.

Anyway, if you (you know who you are) happen to read this, I just want to tell you, the comment was a mistake, please ignore it, No, no, please forget about it. I was stupid during last week. The whole thing was a mistake. Repeat after me, m-i-s-t-a-k-e, yes mistake. Yup there's nothing right about it. This isn't right. This was stupid, my stupid stupid action, my brain decided to stop functioning for the past few days, I guess. Haih.

I'll never repeat it anymore, I don't want to do this anymore. The new me is yes, brave, but stewpid. There is a fine line between stupidity and bravery, but I guess I just mix everything up, and it doesn't feel good. Old me with my old way of doing things is good. K. Dah. Lah.

107 of 365 : nope

Bila Allah SWT cakap bukan, maka bukan.

Thank you Allah SWT for saving me from what not. So that's gonna be my first ad last stewpid move like that. I am just gonna be my old self with my old way of doing thing which is as usual. Always stick to the "as usual". Yeah, lagipun, being in the situation, i cant fully be myself. That's wrong.

Oh no no. Wow. Look at what i almost did to myself. Not being fully myself is a big mistake. Sorry self. Not gonna do that again. Promise.

104 of 365 : The Drawback of not being a mind reader.

So,
I'm interpreting your subtle sign as a tacit avoidance.
Say no more.

103 of 365 : If I fall in love.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ya Allah, If I fall in love,
Make me fall in love with the one that in love with You,
So that I can strengthen myself,
In loving You.

100 of 365 : strawberry boy is growing up now

So yesterday I went to see my strawberry boy.

When I reached there, mom asked me to stay downstairs as a surprise for him after class. So I waited nervously, cuz who knows he might forget me tho. Haritu 7hari MC pun mcm dah lupa. Ni kan pulak like 9days.

Then after he finished class, he went downstairs and "Piyana!" - a voice that I wanted to hear again after all these times. He came down so quickly and then after they opened the baby gate, he ran and hugged me!! Awh. I almost broke into tears. But I couldn't carry him up all the way, I feel like he's taller now! Nooo my baby's growing up dahh. And then he was like running around the house (so much energy, maybe he was excited, maybe he was happy, I'm not sure)

Then we went to the playground. I didn't really sit around him, because I don't know why I feel a bit speechless and awkward, I miss him a lot until at some point I don't know what to do first. And plus guilty feelings of leaving him too, made me carefully think about what should I do, what I shouldn't do. I'm worried that he might miss me more after this. 

He was ignoring me and played with others, but I saw him sometimes checking on me to see whether I'm still there or not. Lol yaa yaa gonna wait until you've finished your playground time okay buddy?

Then at home, when we sat on the sofa, i chatted with mom, he was there zoning out, I don't know whether he was tired or not interested ke ape. But then I kinda heard him saying "I miss Piyana" but it's very subtle, so i was like, "Haa what buddy? Sorry, say it again?" And he was like, too late. Sape suh tak dgr. Hahahaha k fine.

Then he wanted to play on trampoline. I think that was the only time when we spent quality time together jumping on the huge trampoline. My first time on trampoline as well. Hahaha tak sangka best gila. Thanks buddy, you showed me a great way to have fun! Jumping!

Then after we've finished jumping, I wanted to go to my car, nak pass barang, so I asked him to come down from trampoline for a while. Then he jumped in my arms, and hugged me again. I think that one hug really told me about how much he miss me. That was the same every-morning-hug that he gave me before this. Awhh :')

Dah lepas tu masuk rumah he was ignoring me completely dah. Maybe he was tired or that's it, Piyana's time is all finish ke ape. Hahahaha when I was saying bye, he was also saying bye in a half-cool-half-I-don't-care-anymore-Piyana manner. Hey buddy, what's this? Is that it? I'm hoping for more like don't-go-Piyana-drama or like jejak kasih or what. Hahaha

K laa. Deep down, I'm scared one day he will stop looking/asking for me. I do hope he won't forget about me. But as I couldn't give a full commitment to him anymore, I shouldn't be selfish. I have to accept and help him to get over me. I do hope he won't be sad or he won't miss me that much after the visit.

Buddy as much as you laff Piyana, I laff you more.

Buddy as much as you miss Piyana, I miss you even more.

But like 'A little friend's' story, Laura has to let the duck flies with other friends in the skies. So buddy, you have to let this little friend (me) go at some point...

I'm considering naming my child after you in the future, because I'm so amazed with your pure soul that have touched my life with your special and genuine way of harboring a love for people around you and

You are just... 3 !
Amazing. Subhanallah.

The most loving kid, I've ever met. The most special kid that is going to be in my heart forever. I'll always pray for your safety, happiness & progress :')

98 of 365 : Finally, today is a happy dayyyyyy,

Ya Allah,

Terima kasih Ya Allah.

Today I've received quite a bad news, eh two bad news (or bad feeling like that). The first one, I dont think I nailed the interview. Usually when I was so happy coming out from interview room, feeling so happy and easy, I wont get accepted. If I feel the palpable tension or intense after interview, i will likely to get it. Serious lah, macam masa Proton dulu, happy sangat rase macam dapat, tetapi itu semua penipuan perasaan. Kahkah. K so it's safe to say goodbye to P********, tho sayanglah i miss the opportunity. :(

Kemudian you know this feeling, when your 'dent' introduce you to his friend, that means, you are indirectly rejected. LOL its like you are never on his list. Oh no I feel so silly upset over something that I've never had. Okay, ini pun besar besar kite tulis BYE. :(

Tetapi. Jeng jeng jeng. At the end of the day, I've got THE BEST NEWS EVER. Mom asked me to visit strawberry boy because he MISSES me so muchhhhhh. Mom said he asked her to read my card, and kept saying I laff Piyana, I laff Piyana. And when the guard called house, he was saying "It's Piyana?" but its not me. Oh no, now I've been thinking what should I bring him if I'm about to visit strawberry boy? Yeayyyyy. Hip hip hoooorayyyyyyyy. Ya Allah thank you so much Ya Allah dengan kasih dan rahmat yang Kau limpahkan padaku ini. Permudahkanlah urusanku. Jangan la bila ku melawatnya tiba tiba dia dah lupa diriku. Gembirakanlah dan ubatilah rindunye bila dia jumpa aku nanti.

Terima kasih ya Allah.

Sebelum tidur, akhirnya aku gembira. A very very tiny happy thing that happened at the end of day could topple down thousands of shiddy thingy that happened earlier of the day. How great is that huh? Terima kasih sekali lagi Tuhanku, kerana menemukan aku lagi dengan manje boy, strawberry boy, Piyana boy sayaaaa.

91 of 365 : A strawberry boy tale.

A strawberry boy tale.

I am always going to remember a boy...
A strawberry boy.

A boy who called me Piyana,
A boy who always smiled when he saw me hiding behind the gate before i went to pick him up at his car,
A boy who always jumped out of his car and hugged me,
A boy who always shouted my name from afar,
A boy who always ran from the kitchen to the door, just to greet me and gave a big cuddle before disappearing again - continue doing his thing before the class started,
A boy who was extra excited when he saw me again if I went EL for a few days,
A boy who pushed me away once, because he was so upset, but then after a few minutes, he came and hugged me, regretfully saying "sorry Piyana.."
A boy that always answered to my "okay?' with: "okay Piyanaa..."
A boy that enjoyed all my failed science experiments Hahahahaha, okaylaaa, there were few good experiments! - oh my loyal assistant, patiently handing me this and that, thanks buddy,
A boy who was so amused by my cheap and lame magic tricks - hahahahaha
A boy that accidentally slept on my shoulder, twice, while playing "spinning game" - hey, aren't you supposed to be dizzy instead of sleepy?,
A boy that, when I texted his mom saying " Sorry that I can't do class today, i'll miss him", mom will texted me back saying, "he'll miss you more...",
A boy that, when I pretended to cry, he will stop doing whatever he was doing and asked "hey, what's wrong Piyana?"
A boy that answered my do-you-love-me?-question with "I lafff you Piyanaaaa".


Hey buddy,
fist bump! thumb bump, elbow bump, head bump!
I miss you asking me to read Tick Tock Tales & Where's my hat story,
I miss your sweet grin, i miss your sincere gaze.
I miss you so much, I really am. T.T