Found the answer!

Yes [on the contrary], whoever submits his face in Islam to Allah while being a doer of good will have his reward with his Lord. And no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve. (2:112)

Alhamdulillah.

Help me Ya Allah, overcome these feelings of riak.

I don't know to whom should I tell this thing. Sebab the only person that understand my feelings right now is probably just me. heh. I've got a few mixed feelings regarding my new job. *I'm about to get employed again, yay for thatttt.* Hehe.
So bersedialah nak dengar perasaan perasaan disturbing saye sekarang in 3.. 2.. 1, enjoy.

1) The fact that, this is a job that I want, I feel like this is scarier than ever. Satu, zero experience. Dua, related to someone else's life. Tiga, what if I don't fit for this job? Afterall this is what I want. What if what I want is not the best? camana? camana? camana?

2) Too excited. And this ain't good yaw knaww. Bila too excited, tercakap pada ramai orang, bila ramai orang tahu, I kinda feel proud of myself because : One, I have courage to pursuit what I want. Two, this line of job makes me feel proud proud proud. Kan dah bunga bunga riak tu? What if saye dah lari dari niat asal (kerja kerana Allah dan kerana Allah sahaja) dan saya terus menerus takbur dan tidak ikhlas?

Ya Allah, permudahkan aku. Ikhlaskan aku. Ikhlaskan aku. Ikhlaskan aku. Sedarkan hatiku. Sedarkan aku yang aku ini tidak layak pun untuk merasa bangga atas apa yang aku lakukan. Definitely nothing. This is just probably a selfish-good-deed-type-of-job. I'm doing this to feel good. I'm doing it for me. Bukan sebab mulia / baik mana. Semua hanya untuk kepuasan sendiri. Tak layak aku untuk berasa bangga at all. Other ppl, dont feel proud of me. I'm just another selfish person saje.

Mungkin sebab dok having fun sangat sampai 2 bulan, jadi hati semacam takde masalah. Bila takde masalah selalu macam nak lalai alpa leka. Oh yeah, weak human are always like this.

So mungkin skrg kena tumpu focus gila dengan solat bg sempurna plus baca quran hari hari aaaa. Takutlah hati gelap. Hati semacam dah nak gelap, tu ada unsur unsur riak tuu... Tuhanku, aku takut :'(  

Big thing? Takut lah.

Hmmm this is scary, but scary good you know. Like "scary-going-to-Sydney".

But this thing is still scary. Tapi mungkin akan ingat kate kate Sueray forever, "courage, is not the absence of fear but doing something even if it is scares the shit out of you", thank you girlfriend, you know that's why I love you :D

And juga sy akan ingat kate kate awak

"You're still young, this is the time for you to do whatever you want, go for your passion, because it's better for you to regret after you've done it, not because you didn't do it, that's worth a life experience too you knoww" hehe thank you, you :')

And my minions friends, for genuinely happy dgn choice sy, talking to Aya and Fiqah really makes me realize what I really want, cewah. Mcm dilemma lepastu tak dilemma dah, syg you guys.

Anyway YOLO ah. By the way nak buat statement self-preservation jap bukan tak confident tau, which is: even though i might fail in this, in shaa Allah, i'll never turn my back on this. I'll try harder and harder tho this might take few places or few years.

And more importantly, I will always need Allah's guidance, always and forever. Rahmatilah dan permudahkan ku Ya Allah. Ikhlaskan lah aku. Sentiasa. Amin.