Is it what I think it is?
On 10th January 2018, it has been answered with,
Yes it is.
The greatest answer of all.
Love you poppyseed.
Stockholm Syndrome, Me?
My friend said, I have a Stockholm syndrome:
(1) condition that causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy during captivity.
(2) Strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.
I think, ada benarnya dia. Macam mana the abusee pula boleh kesian dengan abuser. Abusee pulak minta maaf bertalu talu dengan abuser. And hope so much for forgiveness. This is wrong (memang lah tak salah minta maaf, tapi it is just weird).
So how to escape from this syndrome tho?
My friend also said, I must do something to help the "future-me". Try to think from other's perspective. Sebab selalunya kita boleh beri nasihat yang bernas pada orang lain tapi bukan diri sendiri. Sebab kita tak terikat dengan emosi sendiri bila beri nasihat pada orang. So try to give an advise to your self for the sake of "future you".
Yeah i know it sounds complicated. But why the hell we have brain if we are not using it wisely.
(1) condition that causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy during captivity.
(2) Strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.
I think, ada benarnya dia. Macam mana the abusee pula boleh kesian dengan abuser. Abusee pulak minta maaf bertalu talu dengan abuser. And hope so much for forgiveness. This is wrong (memang lah tak salah minta maaf, tapi it is just weird).
So how to escape from this syndrome tho?
My friend also said, I must do something to help the "future-me". Try to think from other's perspective. Sebab selalunya kita boleh beri nasihat yang bernas pada orang lain tapi bukan diri sendiri. Sebab kita tak terikat dengan emosi sendiri bila beri nasihat pada orang. So try to give an advise to your self for the sake of "future you".
Yeah i know it sounds complicated. But why the hell we have brain if we are not using it wisely.
Always A Fighter.
Today, I must be so sad that I wrote 3 posts in one day.
Well, to describe this heartache, I feel like this feeling is so familiar. I've tasted this before. But how come every time, it still hurt? I should be immune by now. I should be stronger. Kan?
After being wrapped with this heavy feeling for one day, I've come to realize about several things:
One:
We can't control how other people is going to hurt us. Nothing can be done. If the person wants to hurt us, either way, the person will eventually hurt us. So let it go. Sesetengah perkara, serahkan pada Dia. Dia yg paling tahu apa yang terbaik untuk setiap hambaNya. Kita? Jaga diri kita je dah la. Jaga perlakuan kita. We feel hurt? Don't hurt the person back. TWO WRONGS CAN NEVER MAKE THINGS RIGHT. Sabar. Dah besar ni, baru aku tahu kenapa orang cakap "sabar separuh daripada iman". Sebab bukan senang nak sabar. Susah. Susah sangat. Tapi Allah SWT berserta orang - orang yang sabar. Jadi sabar je. Tak pe. Sabar je.
Bak kata abah, hidup ini telah ditentukan, telah ditulis segalanya. Kita ni jalankan je apa yang terjadi. Tapi sebagai manusia, we don't know things. We don't know future. Jadi kita buat je yang terbaik, jalankan hidup ini dengan our best. Improve ape yang tak betul di masa lepas. Mostly, banyak hikmah kita tak nampak kalau kat dunia ni, tapi sebab hikmah itu untuk kita di akhirat. Have faith. Wise nya abah. When I can be wise like dat? Eheh.
Two:
For me, I don't think its wrong to cry out loud (given that I am alone in a space), nanti kalau time ada orang, niat tu jadi nak kan attention pulak. Well that's why women are strong. Because we can cry. So for me, menangis lah, kalau itu cara yang dapat bangunkan kita semula. But I've found that, the cycle of mourning by cry and sleep only is not enough. Nanti bangun tidur, hati rasa berat sangat. The best way is to cry, solat sunat, baca quran walaupun 5 ayat & sleep. Or cry, sleep & solat (tapi ini still tak best sebab lepas bangun tidur masih sedih). It is okay to cry as long as kita bina balik semangat dan hati. Letakkan sepenuh pengharapan padaNya. Macam nanti akhirnya kita akan terfikir "kite ada Allah SWT la, walau macam mana pun, apa nak risau dan takut sangat. Wa huwa ma'akum, ainama kuntum. Lagilah, Dia Maha Mendengar pada bila bila pun, Yang Hidup kekal lagi terus menerus mengurus (makhluk-Nya); tidak mengantuk dan tidak tidur." Apa lagi nak takut dan risau? Apa?
Wow writing this, I've realized that I am so silly for worrying things that out of my control. Forgive me O' Allah. For wasting my time, worried.
Three:
Life. Must. Go. On. No. Matter. What. Hidup ini pun sekejap je. Dunia ini pun sementara. So what is more important? Pegang hati, tanya sendiri. You know better.
In the past, I've been hurt, I am hurting now, and I will be hurt again in the future. But, all that matters are, how I survive this heartache. Aja - aja fighting!
Pen off.
No more worries, at least for now,
My Best person - Liyana.
Well, to describe this heartache, I feel like this feeling is so familiar. I've tasted this before. But how come every time, it still hurt? I should be immune by now. I should be stronger. Kan?
After being wrapped with this heavy feeling for one day, I've come to realize about several things:
One:
We can't control how other people is going to hurt us. Nothing can be done. If the person wants to hurt us, either way, the person will eventually hurt us. So let it go. Sesetengah perkara, serahkan pada Dia. Dia yg paling tahu apa yang terbaik untuk setiap hambaNya. Kita? Jaga diri kita je dah la. Jaga perlakuan kita. We feel hurt? Don't hurt the person back. TWO WRONGS CAN NEVER MAKE THINGS RIGHT. Sabar. Dah besar ni, baru aku tahu kenapa orang cakap "sabar separuh daripada iman". Sebab bukan senang nak sabar. Susah. Susah sangat. Tapi Allah SWT berserta orang - orang yang sabar. Jadi sabar je. Tak pe. Sabar je.
Bak kata abah, hidup ini telah ditentukan, telah ditulis segalanya. Kita ni jalankan je apa yang terjadi. Tapi sebagai manusia, we don't know things. We don't know future. Jadi kita buat je yang terbaik, jalankan hidup ini dengan our best. Improve ape yang tak betul di masa lepas. Mostly, banyak hikmah kita tak nampak kalau kat dunia ni, tapi sebab hikmah itu untuk kita di akhirat. Have faith. Wise nya abah. When I can be wise like dat? Eheh.
Two:
For me, I don't think its wrong to cry out loud (given that I am alone in a space), nanti kalau time ada orang, niat tu jadi nak kan attention pulak. Well that's why women are strong. Because we can cry. So for me, menangis lah, kalau itu cara yang dapat bangunkan kita semula. But I've found that, the cycle of mourning by cry and sleep only is not enough. Nanti bangun tidur, hati rasa berat sangat. The best way is to cry, solat sunat, baca quran walaupun 5 ayat & sleep. Or cry, sleep & solat (tapi ini still tak best sebab lepas bangun tidur masih sedih). It is okay to cry as long as kita bina balik semangat dan hati. Letakkan sepenuh pengharapan padaNya. Macam nanti akhirnya kita akan terfikir "kite ada Allah SWT la, walau macam mana pun, apa nak risau dan takut sangat. Wa huwa ma'akum, ainama kuntum. Lagilah, Dia Maha Mendengar pada bila bila pun, Yang Hidup kekal lagi terus menerus mengurus (makhluk-Nya); tidak mengantuk dan tidak tidur." Apa lagi nak takut dan risau? Apa?
Wow writing this, I've realized that I am so silly for worrying things that out of my control. Forgive me O' Allah. For wasting my time, worried.
Three:
Life. Must. Go. On. No. Matter. What. Hidup ini pun sekejap je. Dunia ini pun sementara. So what is more important? Pegang hati, tanya sendiri. You know better.
In the past, I've been hurt, I am hurting now, and I will be hurt again in the future. But, all that matters are, how I survive this heartache. Aja - aja fighting!
Pen off.
No more worries, at least for now,
My Best person - Liyana.
A Blink Of An Eye
These days, I feel I am easily vulnerable, easily cried, easily in pain, easily hurt, easily feel sad. And how come the happiness moment only lasts for a blink of an eye?
Sesungguhnya bahagia itu masih jauh. But I feel grateful for that blink of an eye moment. It did feel real.
Sesungguhnya bahagia itu masih jauh. But I feel grateful for that blink of an eye moment. It did feel real.
Suck It Up Mannnn
Hi,
These days, I find it's hard to wait, to be patient, to think positive and to fight all the way to the end. Half way sounds good enough. Apetah lagi bila I just found out about something that hurts me real bad. Mehh. Life. My human will power is decreasing. I am demotivated. I feel like I can't wait for something good to happen. Because it's seems like it's not gonna happen. Hope is just four letter word (lameeeeeeeeeee, so many things are four letter word too like love, hate, milk). I feel so broken up, and i feel like giving up, I just want to tell you so you knowwwww. Eh tetiba lagu Only One pulak.
But i love the song too much tho.
Anyway, when someone is already found the replacement and everything is making sense now, I felt hurt. But, there's nothing else I can do. When the person is not willing to stop hurting you, then let the person be. If I can't be happy, let other people to be happy. Now that I understand everything, I shall stop being clingy, annoying, syok sendiri and what not. Just be with yourself for awhile. And be happy with yourself first.
If anyone is to be blamed, it's me, no others. So suck it up on the consequences and live with it la Liyana!!!! Just be strong and remember AJA-AJA FIGHTING!!!!!!
Liyana you can do this. Even if you're broken and hurt, you can do this. You can survive this heartache. You just have to believe. You can do this. Fighting!
These days, I find it's hard to wait, to be patient, to think positive and to fight all the way to the end. Half way sounds good enough. Apetah lagi bila I just found out about something that hurts me real bad. Mehh. Life. My human will power is decreasing. I am demotivated. I feel like I can't wait for something good to happen. Because it's seems like it's not gonna happen. Hope is just four letter word (lameeeeeeeeeee, so many things are four letter word too like love, hate, milk). I feel so broken up, and i feel like giving up, I just want to tell you so you knowwwww. Eh tetiba lagu Only One pulak.
But i love the song too much tho.
Anyway, when someone is already found the replacement and everything is making sense now, I felt hurt. But, there's nothing else I can do. When the person is not willing to stop hurting you, then let the person be. If I can't be happy, let other people to be happy. Now that I understand everything, I shall stop being clingy, annoying, syok sendiri and what not. Just be with yourself for awhile. And be happy with yourself first.
If anyone is to be blamed, it's me, no others. So suck it up on the consequences and live with it la Liyana!!!! Just be strong and remember AJA-AJA FIGHTING!!!!!!
Liyana you can do this. Even if you're broken and hurt, you can do this. You can survive this heartache. You just have to believe. You can do this. Fighting!
When in Despair, Remember...
I feel so sad.
Have you ever feel like everything is falling apart, your job, your life, your everything?
Have you ever feel like everything that happened is so wrong right now.
Have you ever feel like so mentally tired for all these shhhit?
Have you ever wanted to go to the furthest country in the world just to look at its skies and hoping for the answers to come pouring on you like the night rain?
I feel like I hit rock bottom, the deepest level of course.
It's time for me to hear my favorite "mantra":
"Every time, you feel like you cannot go on, you feel so lost and that you're so alone, all you see is night, and darkness all around, you feel helpless, you can't see which way to go, don't despair and never lose hope, cause Allah is always by your side, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
Every time, you commit one more mistake, you feel you can't repent and that it's way too late, you're so confused, wrong decisions you have made, haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame, but don't despair and never lose hope, cause Allah is always by your side, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
Turn to Allah, He's never far away, put your trust in Him, raise your hand and pray, O' ya Allah, guide my step don't let me go astray, you're the only one can show me the way, show me the way, show me the way, show me the way...
Insha Allah, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
“Then, surely with hardship comes ease:"
“Surely, with hardship comes ease,"
Never forget this Liyana. Never.
Have you ever feel like everything is falling apart, your job, your life, your everything?
Have you ever feel like everything that happened is so wrong right now.
Have you ever feel like so mentally tired for all these shhhit?
Have you ever wanted to go to the furthest country in the world just to look at its skies and hoping for the answers to come pouring on you like the night rain?
I feel like I hit rock bottom, the deepest level of course.
It's time for me to hear my favorite "mantra":
"Every time, you feel like you cannot go on, you feel so lost and that you're so alone, all you see is night, and darkness all around, you feel helpless, you can't see which way to go, don't despair and never lose hope, cause Allah is always by your side, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
Every time, you commit one more mistake, you feel you can't repent and that it's way too late, you're so confused, wrong decisions you have made, haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame, but don't despair and never lose hope, cause Allah is always by your side, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
Turn to Allah, He's never far away, put your trust in Him, raise your hand and pray, O' ya Allah, guide my step don't let me go astray, you're the only one can show me the way, show me the way, show me the way, show me the way...
Insha Allah, Insha Allah, Insha Allah, you'll find your way.
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
“Then, surely with hardship comes ease:"
“Surely, with hardship comes ease,"
Never forget this Liyana. Never.
Krash
Crush.
So what is crush for you?
For me,
Crush is like this. You just like that person for the sake of liking. No intention beyond the line. I mean, I have this crush on someone. I still remembered, he started to smile at me, only after 3 days after I entered the office.
By default, he is a serious person. While working. I never know that he's a hilarious person, once you get to know him. He's a bit chatty as well. I like the way he's talking to me. At first he will be all serious doing work. But once you talk to him, he'll be all smiley and excited talking to you. You'll feel appreciated ya nawww. And you'll like the small interactions that happened, contoh mcm if terserempak somewhere else, he'll stop talking to whoever, and look at you and saying "hi". Or, when you're sitting at someone else's desk, and he's also there , he look at you, and smile, signalling hi from a far.
And you, whenever the crush doing all these little little things, you'll go "awwwhhhhh" lol. And then you'll smile for at least 5 minutes.
That is crush.
Let me tell you, what's not crush. You don't imagine getting married to your crush. Sometimes, you don't even want to have him as boyfriend pun. Maybe there's time you'll feel like chatting with him ke, but only up to that level.
You will want to have his number, but you'll not put effort to get it. Probably you'll successfully find his facebook, but you don't really feel to 'add' him. So for me, crush is like that. NO FURTHER INTENTION. You're liking him for the sake of liking him. Sometimes, you'll be having another crush at the same time. And later, it will died up. The effect of crush.
Yeah. As for now, i really have a crush on this guy. And at the same time, I started to have crush on another guy hahahah dont know which one to like more. Ahh i'll just like both equally. Fair and square. I'll treat them the same too. Dua dua i will tease. Hehe
Who want to join my 'class'?
What is MT actually?
Aku pun tak tahu. Sebab baru dua hari aku mt. Ya nawww. I don't have enough information to conclude what is mt. So let's talk about what I think mt is.
First, aku rase macam jadi mt tu kena elegance. Di samping positive - positive trait yg lain lah. But I'm gonna only talk about elegance, sbb usually ppl born with it. Benda lain boleh train. I don't have it. Can i just be that mt girl yg berlainan. Yg tak berheels, berbaju blouse putih, tuck in, seluar slack, berjalur putih halus, with expensive handbag and wowww bila org tgk, only one word people will say, "uuu charisma". Oops sorry, two words.
It's not that I can't be it, just that, it's not me. I am that girl yang suka hati je tudung dia matching ke tak dgn baju, seluar pun probably actually black jeans that is trying to disguise as a slack, paling cuba menjadi woman pun dengan memakai flats. Handbag pun yang dari Sydney, 2 years ago. Ground colour, so kalau kotor pun tak nampak. And gelak tak control, cakap pun takda bahasa elegance ke apa, bahsa YOLO.
Can i be an mt with my own class?
K jawapan yg nak diberi sini ialah, yes i can. Why? Because I can. Ada apa dgn classy massy, sedangkan moderate is the best policy.
I'll prove to the mt's world, that we can gain respect not by elegance or classy displayed or charismatic walk, but we'll get it through giving other person our respect first. Dkt sini bermaksud, bukan lag elegance, charismatic & classy tu tak penting dan tak bagus, tapi bukan segalanya.
Know what I mean?
Aja - aja fighting! Saya boleh!
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